My Review: If I Had You

I have enjoyed several of Deborah Bedford's books (maybe that new widget I installed will link them to this post--if not, feel free to search my archives) and while I enjoyed this one, it was not one of my favorites. It is the story of three generations in the same family. Nora is in her late 40's. Her daughter Tess is in her late teens. All her life, Tess has felt like nothing she did was good enough for her mom. She left home, got hooked on drugs and got pregnant. She came home, had her daughter with the intention of putting her up for adoption, but then changed her mind.

Bedford said this book is her story. I won't tell you which of the women she is, but I will tell you that the book has a strong pro-life message. I just didn't really like any of the characters, except the little girl.

Discussion Question: Do you have to like the characters in order to like a book?

Review: Lost in Las Vegas

Lost in Las Vegas is the fifth book in the "Carter House Girls" series. From what I can tell, "Carter House" is the home of the main character, D.J.'s, grandmother. The grandmother, who evidently used to be important in the fashion industry, acts as housemother to a group of girls who attend a local school. I assume the school is private because the girls, for the most part, are very wealthy and are from all over the country. The story takes place in the days leading up to Christmas vacation and during it. DJ's roomate invites DJ to join her in Las Vegas. DJ's other choices are to visit her dad, stepmother and twin toddler half sisters or to stay with her grandmother. DJ is a Christian; with one exception her housemates to not appear to be. Most of her housemates like to drink and act sexual with guys; DJ does not. That sets up the conflict in the story. The trip to Las Vegas ends, IMO, very unrealistically. The story, as a whole, isn't overly preachy, but there isn't really a climax point and at the end, the good ending just seems forced. Alcohol is a major issue in the book.

Some series books are good in and of themselves. Others are clearly part of a bigger story. This book was in the second group. I want to know why DJ, who seems like such a good Christian girl, doesn't want to visit her dad and stepmom, even for a short time at Christmas--and why they don't register any disapproval at that decision. I want to know what Rhiannon is doing at a school whose lifestyle she clearly cannot afford. I want to know the story about Haley's suicide attempt. Why do Eliza and Kriti seem so close? Why is it important to the story that Grandma was in the fashion industry (though a little is said about a fashion show being in the girls' future).

I enjoyed reading the book and will give it to my daughter, but I did not enjoy it as much as I have some of the YA books I've read lately.

Desire and Deceit: My Review

Desire and Deceit: The Real Cost of the New Sexual Tolerance by R. Albert Mohler Jr

My review

rating: 4 of 5 stars
Desire and Deceit is an easy to read engaging discussion of how "sexual tolerance" has made itself the primary moral issue in our society. The author, R. Alber Mohler, is president of a Baptist seminary, and while he footnotes the book, it is not an academic tome but rather a very readable text. while he claims to present the Biblical view of sexuality, he does not reference or quote much scripture.



The book begin with a look at some letters JRR Tolkien wrote to his son, a man in his early twenties, about marriage and human sexuality. "The devil is endlessly ingenious, and sex is his favorite subject. He is as good every bit at catching you through generous romantic or tender motives, as through baser or more animal ones" Mohler quotes Tolkien as saying. Mohler further points out that Tolkien understood that those who give themselves most unreservedly to sexual pleasure will derive the least pleasure and fulfillment in the end.



Next, Mohler looks at lust from both a secular and Christian perspective. From a secular perspective, it is defined as "the enthusiastic desire, the desire that infuses the body, for sexual activity and its pleasures for their own sake.", though from the secular perspective, there is nothing wrong with that. From a Christian perspective, "Lust goes beyond attraction, and appreciation of beauty, or even a healthy desire for sex--it makes these desires more important than God. Lust wants to go outside God's guidelines to find satisfaction." About the human sex drive he says "we need the guiding assistance of the sex drive to pull us out of lethargy and self-centeredness into a fruitful and faithful relationship with a spouse."



Pornography is also addressed, including its mainstreaming into advertising and entertainment and points out that increased exposure to erotic stimulation creates the need for ever-increasing stimulation in order to demand notice, arouse sexual interest and retain attention. Mohler draws a contrast between the man who seeks sexual fulfillment through porn, with its lack of contact, lack of relationship, and lack of demands, with the faithful husband who has to make himself worthy of his wife's attention and desire.



Quite a bit of the book is devoted to discussion homosexuality. He points out that defining homosexuality as "who you are" rather than "what you do" is a recent phenomenon. He discusses the efforts of those within the church who would legitimize homosexual behavior. They make one of two arguments when faced with the Biblical proscriptions--they either claim they only refer to those who are of a heterosexual orientation, and therefore not being true to their nature or they claim that those proscriptions need to be viewed as reflections of the hierarchical patriarchal culture that we can safely reject as not applying to us. Kohler describes the process by which the homosexual activists have changed the way America views homosexual behavior. He looks at some of the big names in the study of sex and discusses how much of their "research" has been discredited.



I find it interesting that one aspect of modern sexual behavior was not addressed at all in this book--birth control.



I've read about Theology of the Body. I'm going to have to read it, and I think comparing it to this book would be an interesting exercise.


This is a First Wildcard book. Check back December 14 to read the first chapter (which is about Tolkien).



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Culture Shock?

The Bishop's Daughter by Tiffany L. Warren

My review

rating: 4 of 5 stars
This Catholic woman of German heritage was definitely reading about another culture in this book. The Bishop's Daughter is about the daughter of the pastor of an African-American mega-church and her relationship not only with her family but also with a freelance reporter/blogger who is trying to break a big story. The big story he is trying to break is about her father. The reporter, a young, handsome "brother" from a wealthy family, learns about the church when his latest squeeze gets up on Sunday morning to watch it on TV. He is sure there is something wrong, some dirt than can be dug, so he moves from Cleveland, where his family lives to Atlanta, where the church is. At his first service at the church he is so moved by the pastor's words that he answers the altar call and is baptized. He is still looking for dirt, but he has already found the bishop's (pastor's) daugher and through her learns more about the bishop. During the course of the investigation, Darrin keeps readers informed through a blog, written by the Mad Black Blogger--but he doesn't tell them where the church is.



In some ways the story is universal. The woman doesn't believe she is beautiful and able to attract men, so the only one, until the reporter comes along, who is attracted to her is one she doesn't love. The reporter is following a career path with which his father disapproves, but he is doing it with Dad's money. It isn't until he decides to accept being cut off the dole that he is able to make the decisions on how to run his life. It is a story of sin and redeption and love conquering sin.



In other ways, like I said earlier, this German Catholic was clearly not reading about herself. As a kid I used to watch Sanford and Son and Goodtimes, and while they made me laugh, I found it hard to believe there were really people like that. This book was saturated with sex. No, it didn't have steamy descriptive sex scenes, but Darrin, before his baptism was far more interested in sex than in love. When he first notices the bishop's daughter, it is her body he notices. When another woman with whom he is keeping company comes over, they kiss briefly, then he reaches for her crotch. Darrin is the absolute characture of the hypersexual Black man.



A certain familiarity with the African American church is assumed. One male character is the bishop's "armor bearer"; a female character is his wife's armor bearer. Another female character is the church's "nurse" but while the job was never defined, for some reason I don't think the reference was to medical nursing. The pastor was called the bishop and his wife, the First Lady.



The book was an easy read and interesting. It wasn't just a predictable formula romance, though it had romantic elements. There was a lot of religious content but it was well integrated into the story, and fankly pretty essential to it.

This is a First Wildcard book, so check back January 12 to read the first chapter and learn about the author.


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A Beautiful Children's Book

The Moon Shines Down by Margaret Wise Brown

My review

rating: 5 of 5 stars
If you are looking for a Christmas present for a young child, this may be the book for you. Once upon a time, Margaret Wise Brown, author of Goodnite Moon started this book, which is based on the childhood rhyme "I see the Moon, And the Moon sees me. God Bless the Moon and God bless me". She didn't finish it, and the manuscript was recently found tucked in a trunk. Laura Minchew continued the story, writing in the same style as Brown. We see the moon shining down on children from Holland, Switzerland, the Far East, Mexico, France, Australia, England, Africa, an American city at Christmas and under the ocean. Each of these places is given two two-page spreads, and the second of those always included "I see the Moon and the Moon sees Me" or "God bless the Moon and God bless me" or both. For example, the spread on Mexico says:

I see the Moon
And the Moon sees me,
And the Moon sees the kids in Mexico.
God bless the Moon
And God bless me,
And God bless the Toucan with her funny nose.

The illustrations, drawn by Linda Bleck, remind you of Goodnite Moon without being clones of them. Each spread includes a large yellow moon. There is a bear (maybe a koala?) which is in every scene, along with drawings of the country he is visiting. The children shown in the drawings are wearing ethnic clothes and you can often find a child tucked in bed somewhere in the drawing.

This is a beautiful book and I'm sure my little one is going to like it.

Click here to buy at Amazon.com
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Hannah Grace: My Review

Hannah Grace by Sharlene Maclaren

My review

rating: 3 of 5 stars
If you like Christian fiction and you like romance novels, you will probably like this story, set in 1903 in Sandy Shores, a Michigan town on the Lake. Hannah Grace, the oldest of three sisters (I guess there are going to be two more books in the series), has been keeping company with the town's doctor. She is fond of him and believes they are headed toward marriage, yet she thinks something is missing. Then the new sheriff comes to town, and with him, an orphan boy who stowed away in his wagon. As she and the sheriff work together to care for the boy, guess what happens? There is another plot thread about the boy's origin and the criminal activity he witnessed, so the book is a little more than a standard romance novel.

This book is on the more religious end of the Christian fiction spectrum. Both Hannah and the sheriff pray often and mull over scripture. However it is not one of those "get saved and live happily ever after" books either -- though it does have a happy ending.

This is a First Wildcard book and if you check back December 12, you will be able to read the first chapter.

Click here to read the first chapter.
Buy this book from Amazon

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Christmas Promises: My Review

This is a sweet gifty type book. It is small and hard cover. The paper is a buff color and the typeface is pretty. Most of the pages have borders on them. It is not really a book to sit down and read through, but rather one to pick up and savor as part of your prayer time. The sections include pages of beautifully scripted scripture quotes on a theme, written sort of like a letter from God. Those pages are decorated with a Christmas theme. They are followed by a poem or some heart-warming story that illustates the theme. The book is a nice reminder to slow down, to remember the reason for the season and to savor it.

Available from Amazon.com

It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year?
Encouragement for the Christmas Season

For some, the Christmas season is a marathon—a month of parties, decorating, shuffling through crowded malls, and family gatherings. For the last-minute types among us, Christmas is a sprint—a dizzying, fruitcake-fueled race to the finish line. For others, the season dredges up painful memories of lost loved ones or dreams deferred. Amid both the commotion and the emotion, it’s easy for anyone, even the most devoted Christian, to lose sight of the true meaning of Christmas.

In her inspirational new book, Christmas Promises: Heavenly Gifts for the Holiday Season (Regal, 2008), author and speaker LeAnn Weiss encourages readers to embrace the deepest significance of the Christmas season, a time to celebrate the keeping of God’s greatest promise—His Son, Emmanuel…God with us. In a popular culture in which guarantees are nullified by the fine print and marriage vows have lost their durability, it comes as no surprise that so many have lost the wonder they once felt at Christmastime. Weiss believes that God’s enduring faithfulness shines all the brighter during the Christmas season.

“Somewhere over time, the meaning of ‘promise’ has eroded from being a binding pledge (at least bound by honor) to merely a possible expectation or hopeful feeling. No wonder we’re cynical when someone says, ‘I promise.’ And maybe that sense of disillusionment unconsciously spills over into our spiritual life,” says Weiss. “When God says that He’s faithful to all of His promises, we can fully trust Him that all means all. No exceptions. We can take His promises to the bank. Christmas Promises: Heavenly Gifts for the Holiday Season is about these promises of His peace, presence, provision, and rest.”

Weiss is best known for her personalized paraphrased scriptures which are featured in over seven million books in Howard Publishing’s (a division of Simon & Schuster) popular Hugs™ series. She is also coauthor of the successful Heartlifters series. Christmas Promises is a collection of heartwarming true stories of God’s faithfulness. Each story takes place in a Christmas setting and is communicated with Weiss’s characteristic tenderness and insight, concluding with her trademark personalized paraphrases of scripture that have encouraged so many.

The Bible is packed with hundreds of promises concerning daily life issues that are closest to our hearts. Through this collection of stories and the scriptural reflections that follow, Weiss encourages readers to discover God’s faithfulness in their own lives. Some of the most moving moments in the book are the accounts from her own life, including a story of heartache and new beginnings for her and her husband (the couple wed on July 4, 2008). Christmas Promises would make an excellent gift for anyone who is overwhelmed by the “to-do’s” of the Christmas season or for anyone who simply enjoys getting into the Christmas spirit. Because the stories are universally engaging, the book would also be an ideal gift for Christians to share with non-believers.

“Unfortunately, we sometimes get so caught up in the routine and rush of life that we forget to seek the illumination of the Bible,” Weiss reflects. “It’s my prayer that Christmas Promises: Heavenly Gifts for the Holiday Season will help personalize the timeless promises of God’s Word to readers’ everyday lives. I pray that they will experience the refreshment of God’s one-on-one love as His Word comes alive in their daily circumstances.”

Christmas Promises by LeAnn Weiss
Regal Books September 2, 2008
ISBN-13: 978-0830746972/hardcover/$14.99

A Good Recipe but That's About It

Esther's" Gift: A Mitford Christmas Story by Jan Karon

My review

rating: 2 of 5 stars
This book is nothing but a shameless attempt to make more money off what I would assume is an already profitable series of books--The Mitford Series of books. This tiny hardcover is the short story of Esther computing one Christmas, how much her famed Orange Marmalade cakes cost, deciding that most people weren't worth that, but then changing her mind. The only reason I gave the book two stars is that it is pretty and it does have the Orange Marmalade cake recipe in it.

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Fireflies In December: My Review

My review

rating: 4 of 5 stars
"What difference does race make in our relationships with people?" is the question explored in this book, sent in the early 1930s in a small town in Virginia. The main character is a Jessilyn, a White thirteen year old who doesn't really fit in with her peers. She likes to read, she is independent and sees boys as a nuisance. Her only real friend is a neighbor a few years older than she is. That girl's parents work for her parents--and they are African-American. A storm strikes and her friend Gemma's parents are killed in a fire. Against all convention, her parents take her friend in as a foster-daugher, rather than a servant. This decision alienates them from both the White and Black communities. The Klan gets involved. First love is involved. In the end there is betrayal, redemption, and a new chance at love. It is Christian fiction, but not heavy-handed. It is a story of separate and unequal justice, a justice that unfortunately has not been unknown in our country's history.

While one character in the book shows that he is not all bad, unfortunately most of the others are either all good (and treat all races equally and with respect) or all bad (and are Klan members). I think this would have been a perfect story in which to show that good people could be products of their culture. In some ways Jessilyn's mother is like that--she likes her daughter's friend, but isn't comfortable taking her into their home, but later comes to accept it.

This is a First Wildcard book. Check back January 7 to read the first chapter.

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Me, Myself, and I Am: My Review

I won a copy of this book on Window to My World. When I got it, at first I thought I'd give it to my teen daughter as a Christmas gift. I may still, but I need to think about it. Basically the book is a collection of themed questions which lead the reader/writer to examine his/her life and relationship with God. The reader/journaller is asked questions about faith, religious practice, life experience, family and more. In some ways the book does take into account the Catholic experience of faith. There is a series of questions about the reader's experience with confessing sins, and besides mentioning confessing to God, one does mention confessing to a priest and receiveing absolution. Another question gives mass as one of the religous functions in which the reader could participate. There is a series of questions about your belief about the Bible, but I don't think any of the responses really capture the Catholic belief about the Bible.

Why do I hesitate to give it to my teen daughter? She is well-aware that there are other Christian faiths and non-Christian faiths. She also knows that people don't always do a good job of practicing thier faith. However, I'm not sure I'm ready to put a book in her hand (and thereby seeming to endorse it) that presents faith as a series of options rather than a series of facts. Also there is a section about "after you became Christian". Well, she became a Christian when she was six weeks old, when she was baptized. I know "accepting Christ" is seen as an affirmative and necessary step in some faith traditions, but as Catholics, we see His grace as a gift freely bestowed on us in baptism. It is a gift we can always reject, but rather than seeing our children as not Christian until they accept Him, we see them as Christian until they reject Him. I guess it is a matter of how much I'm willing to expose her to different Christian beliefs.

Click here to read the first chapter.

Holiday Blessings

Holiday Blessings by Jane Peart

My review

rating: 3 of 5 stars
When I picked up this book I figured it would be three heartwarming easy to read though probably predictable stories. I was not disappointed in that regard. However, I was disappointed in the first of the three stories, Debbie Macomber's "Thanksgiving Prayer". While Macomber now writes general market romance and women's fiction, this story is Christian Fiction but almost seems like general market romance with a heavy overlay of Christianity. For all the God talk in the story, faith doesn't seem to play a major part in the character's lives. It is like it is there just to make it meet some checklist of things to include in a Christian novel. The other two stories are mildly Christian--they mention churchgoing and prayer, but they are clearly love stories and not stories about faith.


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Do You Like Romance Novels?

Amy has a contest where you can win one. Check it out.

The Church as a Safe Place

It is time to play a Wild Card! Every now and then, a book that I have chosen to read is going to pop up as a FIRST Wild Card Tour. Get dealt into the game! (Just click the button!) Wild Card Tours feature an author and his/her book's FIRST chapter!

You never know when I might play a wild card on you!


Here is my review

Today's Wild Card author is:

Peter Holmes and Susan Williams

and the book:

Church as a Safe Place

Authentic (January 1, 2008)

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

Peter Holmes has combined a career in business and management consultancy with service in the church and international missions. He holds an MA in pastoral psychology and a doctorate in therapeutic faith community and is a lead reviewer with the Royal College of Psychiatrists’ therapeutic community program.

Since his late teens, Dr. Holmes has been helping people grow in their intimacy with Christ. This passion has prompted his involvement in Christian missions in the Middle East, Asia, Europe, and Africa, including war-torn Rwanda. He is co-author of the book Christ Walks Where Evil Reigned, a social commentary, in a Rwandan setting, focusing on how darkness can consume a nation and how hope and transformation can be released. He has developed a therapeutic discipleship program available in seminars and in books such as Letting God Heal, Changed Lives, and Becoming More Like Christ. Among the nine books he has authored, Becoming More Human, Trinity in Human Community, and Church as a Safe Place describe the extension of his ideas in local churches. Dr. Holmes has joint responsibility for teaching, preaching, and pastoral care at Christ Church Deal, Kent, UK, the fifth church he has helped to plant.

His latest book, Church as a Safe Place, co-authored with his friend and colleague Susan B. Williams, delves into a subject he knows all too well—the many forms of abuse that are often perpetrated in and through the church. “Writing a book like this would be a challenge for any person. No one is exempt from abuse or from being abusive,” he states. “We may like to think that we have never been that bad or done such things, but we probably have. As I wrote the book, I remained mindful that I have been both the abuser and the abused, that I have been on both sides of the relationship.”

Dr. Holmes is a qualified trainer (business coach) and business psychologist, specializing in emotional intelligence, leadership, and team-building. He provides expertise in business start-ups and change management and leads conflict management and reconciliation initiatives. He also offers these skills in local church contexts. Dr. Holmes has worked with international aid programs to develop business initiatives overseas. He is a member of the Tyndale Fellowship and a fellow of the Chartered Management Institute.

Dr. Holmes is married to Mary, an American. The couple splits their time between Dr. Holmes’s native Kent, England and Tiki Island, a small community on the Texas coast. Though his single-minded dedication to helping others find wholeness in Christ is his greatest hobby, he is also a fan of classic cars and has rarely been without one over the last thirty years.

Susan B. Williams is driven by a passion for promoting positive change, a passion reflected in every area of life—her education, her profession, and her ministry. As a specialist in personal, relational, and organizational change, she holds an MPhil and PhD in the personal and social dynamics of transformative change. Williams has authored several books, including Changed Lives, Becoming More Like Christ, and Church as a Safe Place with co-author Peter R. Holmes, with whom she also wrote Passion for Purity. She specializes in working with local churches and church members as they pursue transformative change, particularly in the therapeutic community of her home church, Christ Church Deal, Kent, UK.

As she approached the topic for her latest book, Church as a Safe Place, Williams experienced some transformative change in her own life. “I had known of mistakes I had made in my ministry. I could recall times when I had spoken without love, times when something I had done had felt hurtful to others. In the past, I would have excused myself or assumed that those people were overreacting,” she recalls. “Apparently, this book has been the Lord’s opportunity to teach me something I wish I’d learned many years ago—that when someone feels hurt by me I must allow myself to meet them in their pain.”

In the business world, Williams has earned the reputation of a savvy management consultant with extensive experience in diagnostics and problem solving, as she regularly draws on the wisdom she has gained from her experience managing change in both the public and private sector. She is a veteran business trainer and holds a diploma in Learning and Development. She is also a licensed assessor and quality systems verifier and a Fellow of the Institute of Learning.

Williams has been a financial director and managing director in companies in the education and training sector, in biotechnology, in property management, and in other fields. She is also a director of several businesses and charities. Her teaching and training are also informed by her remarkable personal journey, outlined in her autobiography, Letting God Heal.

Williams is developing some of her ideas regarding the dynamics of transformative change with the Royal College of Psychiatrists as Deputy Chairperson of the Advisory Group in Therapeutic Environments and as a Lead Reviewer of therapeutic communities.

Though Williams’ busy schedule includes little free time, she does find opportunities to play the clarinet in a local symphonic band and her church worship team. She resides in Deal, Kent, UK.

Product Details:

List Price: $16.99
Paperback: 330 pages
Publisher: Authentic (January 1, 2008)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 1860246036
ISBN-13: 978-1860246036

AND NOW...THE FIRST CHAPTER:

Life in an Unsafe World

In this chapter we take an overview of our society and conclude that abuse is more common than we might imagine or admit. Many people feel unsafe today. Which begs the question: Where abuse is concerned, is the Church an exception or is it like other institutions? We end the chapter by suggesting that society is continuing to fragment, with more and more people living alone or in broken, damaged relationships.

Nelson Mandela, writing the foreword to the World Health Organization’s World Report on Violence and Health, suggests that the twentieth century will be remembered as a century marked by violence and abuse. There has been more abuse,1 violence, death, and even genocide than ever before. The statistics speak for themselves. More recently, Mandela’s views have been endorsed by Niall Ferguson in his exhaustive work The War of the World, in which he asks why the twentieth century has been the bloodiest century yet.2

As authors, we have been directly engaged in this violence, not only in our pastoral counseling, but specifically in our efforts to develop a model of dealing with the post traumatic stress suffered by victims of the genocide in Rwanda.3 This has proven a huge challenge. Most Western people have little awareness of the difficulties facing the people of Rwanda. With physical and sexual abuse, torture, murder, and loss, come a range of dehumanizing feelings that make us less able to be human and more able to hurt because we have been hurt.

Mandela observes that one of the tragedies of this legacy is the way that abuse reproduces itself. Instead of developing an aversion to abuse, victims learn abuse from victimizers and, perhaps unintentionally, begin to perpetuate it. He believes that our only hope for breaking these cycles is our willingness to expose such abuse through the democratic process. “Safety and security don’t just happen,” he says, “they are the result of collective consensus and public investment.”4 Collective consensus in this field is focused on the area of human rights, be they the right of the mentally ill to be treated with dignity, the right of children to be protected or of a divorced mother to have the same standard of living as her professional ex-husband. Outside the Church the contemporary human rights agenda is moving fast and furious.

So what is the response of the Church to these twentieth century developments? In our local congregations, how can we respond to the pain, betrayal, fear, and loss being experienced in the culture around us? Also, how effective are we at engaging in public debate on these issues? The answer we are proposing in this book is that the Church needs to intentionally become a “safe place,” where those who are hurting can find comfort and healing in restorative relationships, and where people with no Church background can feel that their personal rights are being respected. But achieving this is a daunting task. Let us look at some of the reasons why.


Abuse is Normal

Mandela points out that those who live with violence and its abuse day in and day out begin to assume that it is an intrinsic part of the human condition. People not only resign themselves to it, they accept it as normal. So abuse becomes deeply rooted in the social, cultural, and economic fabric of human life. Today, whether through personal experience, the eye of television and other news media, or by means of video games and films, assault by one individual against another is part of our daily experience. Most video games, for instance, are violent. They are not programs teaching us ethical love. And once abuse and violence become “normal,” it is very hard to change.

But it is not only individuals who learn to abuse. Institutions do, too. It is particularly disturbing when the systems and organizations that are intended to stand against such abuse themselves become the abusers. As Mandela knew well, governments can be abusive. During the last century, whole countries, even, practiced democide—the eradication of entire ethnic groups—under leaders such as Stalin, Hitler, and Idi Amin. Such crime is now a major concern to modern society.5 We have seen it repeated over and over in recent history, from Hiroshima through to Mao, the genocide of Rwanda, the abuse of the Kurds in Turkey and Iraq, and the stateless Palestinians.

Modern Europe is not exempt. Note the second-class citizenship of the Turkish and Algerian gastarbeiters (guest workers) or the illegal white Russian, Eastern European, Vietnamese, and Thai sex-slave victims being imported into our countries for our gratification. Likewise, consider the treatment of the native Indian, the damage from the Vietnam War, and human rights abuses by the military in Iraq. Some would even point to the retaliatory imperialism of the American government. All of these, along with numerous other forms of abuse, are allowed freedom to exist here, in and on behalf of our “civilized” society.

Behind such extreme abuse lies the issue of power, which, like that of abuse, is a vast and complex subject.6 When given power, some people sometimes change for the worse. Power by people over people becomes the power to abuse. What is becoming evident from “power” research is that when people have the power or opportunity to abuse, some always will. This will become a key theme of this book.

But the world of dictators is not the only arena in which power is abusively used. Here in the UK, the Macpherson report, published following an enquiry into the murder of a black teenager, Stephen Lawrence, documented institutional racism in the London Metropolitan Police Force. It distinguishes between abuse by individual policemen and an organizational structure that allows racism to exist.7 Societal abuse is widespread. Even the most mundane access to power creates the opportunity for misuse and abuse. There will always be some who abuse simply because they have the opportunity. Whether it is driving above the speed limit, using the “black economy” to avoid paying tax, pilfering pens and paper from an employer or fudging one’s tax returns, abuse of power is endemic in our Western society. At one time or another we have all misused the power we have.

Whenever someone sets a standard or lays down the law, some of us will have a tendency to lean against it, pushing out the boundaries a bit farther. Toddlers do it: “I wish you were dead!” Teenagers do it: “I hate him!” It is rife in many supposedly adult environments, too: “I’d love to teach her a thing or two!” Many of us perceive the “institution,” political leaders and even our bosses as the enemy so we deviously challenge or disobey their wishes. We wouldn’t think that we were being abusive, of course. We merely take a few “liberties” from time to time.


Feeling Unsafe

The misuse of power is so prevalent in our society that it raises the question of whether anyone can ever feel safe. Have we all been abused? Are we all abusers? Do we all feel unsafe at one time or another? The huge growth in security systems, personal alarms, tinted windows on cars, expensive locks, and closed circuit TV in both public places and homes is clear testimony that many of us do not feel safe and are afraid of abuse.

Most of us have had the experience of feeling unsafe, vulnerable, and many of us will be able to recite a range of times when we have been abused or have not felt safe. Our examples may include standing in a bus queue, traveling with someone who is not a “safe” driver or no longer being able to trust someone we once relied on. When we say that we live in an abusive society, we are saying that most of us, at one time or another, have felt the lingering aftertaste of hurt or abuse.

The reaction of some of you reading this book may be that feeling unsafe is not your own personal experience. Perhaps you cannot recall ever having been abused by others. Nor do you feel that you are at risk of being abused. If this is the case, then we are pleased for you. But think of those you know, friends and family, who do feel unsafe. Most of those close to you will at one time or another have felt vulnerable or abused, though many have coping mechanisms that help repress or deny the harm.

Having met many hundreds of people, Christian and non-Christian, in a pastoral capacity, we have noticed an interesting trend. Many people are becoming aware that something is not “right,” but they are unable to identify what that something is. What they will then often come to realize is that they have been or are being abused. Or perhaps they are abusing themselves. Maybe the word “abuse” seems a bit too strong, but they realize they are feeling hurt. For instance, many people are in abusive personal relationships or have bosses who are abusing them. Or they have been abused in the past, but have been denying how deeply it has hurt them.

Some of these people may be seeking Christ in a deeper way or trying to live more responsible lives, but their circumstances and history are standing against this. Good is not something that happens to us unless we are able to imagine it. Likewise, until we admit the truth, it is hard to change. So in our ministry we frequently find ourselves asking, “Do you realize that is abusive?” Or, “Why are you allowing them to do this to you?” Until a solution is found, human nature will often be reluctant to admit how bad bad really is. To admit to abuse, or to be honest about what took place, is only possible when one knows that others can help resolve it. This understandable reluctance to own up to abuse, or to feelings of being unsafe, is sadly very common.


Is the Church a Safe Place?

If abuse and not feeling safe is part of modern society, how do we feel about our churches? Is being part of a local church a safe experience for us or are churches also places that are not safe? Maybe the fellowship or support group is not safe? Or the youth work we help with? Or are we part of the choir and feel unsafe? Again, the same principle seems to apply. Some of us will be in abusive or unsafe situations in our congregations, but will not be willing to admit this unless someone else gives us permission. It is often not until we are with a safe friend, pastor or counselor that we begin to admit that we do not have a way of dealing with this. They may be able to help us but only if we are honest with ourselves and them.

We are not suggesting that every church is unsafe. Neither are we giving everyone permission to accuse others unjustly. But our congregations are part of our Western society, and can be as abusive as the society they are part of. One consequence is that when congregations become abusive or hurtful environments, it is all too easy for the organization and its members to develop a tolerance to it. It becomes normal. Whether the abuse starts with a leader or a powerful person or group, it will often spread until even the victims become abusive, either to themselves or to someone else. Numerous incidents of abuse that result in situations where we have been hurt or feel unsafe are never addressed. We either deny them or pretend they are not as bad as they really are. Or perhaps we try to raise the problem but no one listens so we give up or quietly leave.

The Church has an historic problem to contend with. Many of us have grown up in congregations with traditions that for centuries have been helpful in establishing the uniqueness of the Church. Yet today the unchurched would consider them a breach of human rights—that is, abusive. Teaching that seems safe or “normal” to us because of its familiarity might be considered unsafe by newcomers, outsiders or those who are postmodern in their ideas. Perhaps we think it is normal to be told we are sinners. Or to be told we must forgive seventy times seven as the leader in his sermon mocks us publicly yet again. Cruciform theology (dying to self) is sound Biblical teaching but can be interpreted in ways that postmodern people (and perhaps even God) find unacceptable. For instance, being “dead to self” can mean we no longer have any rights. We agree with such teaching, but to the unchurched it can all sound too (self-) abusive.

From 1850 to 1900 Evangelicalism ruled in Europe. The Church had enormous influence and prestige, establishing values and ideals for itself and society as a whole. This was not dissimilar to the growth of the Wesleyan movement in North America.8 Many of these cultural values survive today and are part of the warp and weft of church life.9 In this book we will be suggesting that not all these beliefs, values, and associated practices are of benefit in the way they may have been in the past. For instance, in North America, when the topic of abuse in the Church is raised, people tend to think immediately of the scandals and cover-up of sexual abuse in the Catholic Church. We will be making reference to this. And we will also be suggesting that the Protestant Church is not immune. In this book we will be suggesting that in reviewing what is safe or harmful, we must consider more carefully the perspective of the unchurched newcomer. In our work with many unchurched we have learned that this is one of the main reasons why they never want to go near a church. Or, along similar lines, it is why some Christians leave the Church, becoming post-Evangelical.10

For many of us, of course, local church life is an enjoyable and safe experience. But you may be in a congregation where it could improve. In this book we will be suggesting that a great deal of “soft” abuse goes on un-checked in local church life, for instance, the subtle control of others in influencing who we should be friends with or a theology that penalizes those who are suffering—“You’re sick because you lack faith.” There can also be an exclusivity that makes an outsider feel unwelcome or pressure to attend more meetings than are healthy for family life or a family feeling judged because the parents are not married. This book draws on over a hundred experiences and illustrations of such harm and abuse in church settings, which we hope we can all learn from.

What we will be noting is that much of this damage never surfaces, both because of cover-ups by leadership and denial by members. It is often so much easier to walk away than confront an issue. Newcomers will also leave because they concede that congregational life will not change to accommodate their needs. Perhaps it is time for us to listen more carefully to those who are on the fringe or who are leaving?

As Christians, many of us have no illusions about the kind of society that we live in. We are pragmatic, and even cynical, while campaigning for human rights. Yet we are in danger of attributing messianic qualities to our church leaders. Sometimes we refuse to see that they struggle to handle power with integrity, and we are unable to accept that, because they are not safe people they cannot create a safe environment for us. We are often passionately loyal to our congregation and its leaders, and this can be a good thing. But sometimes it isn’t.

In this book we are suggesting that it is unrealistic to think that people who make others feel unsafe in one setting, say, in business life, are somehow transformed into qualitatively different people when they are in a church environment, that they somehow become safe when they are being “Christian.” Rather than clinging to the illusion that the Church is free from abuse, it is more helpful for us to assume that the harm prevalent in society as a whole is also present in the Church. Instead of thinking that the damage that we do hear about in our churches is an exception to the rule, it is more realistic to accept that unsafe behavior prevails in the Church, too, albeit in a variety of ways.

In his summary of the violence of the twentieth century, Mandela suggests that we should take national as well as corporate initiatives to stop such violence and abuse. Surely the Church should lead the way in creating structures and guidelines that minimize the potential for abuse and harm, and should be seen to be responding healthily when and where damage has been identified?

We are suggesting that making congregational life a safer place is a learning journey. While creating what is safe for people, we must retain the ability to speak the truth to one another. Holding this balance is a real challenge. The large number of abused people suggests we have a long way to go.


Preferring Isolation?

Returning to the broad picture, we cannot avoid the fact that social relations in our Western society are breaking down. Around 25 per cent of people in the UK now live alone, while a growing number “live together apart.”11 This phrase refers to two people who spend some time together, perhaps a few nights a week, while maintaining separate homes that they can retreat into.12 Any property developer will tell you that one bed units and bedsits are the biggest area of demand in the housing market. The “family home” is not the prized property it used to be, either side of the Atlantic.

This trend is part of a complex social change that is taking place in our society. It is driven by a number of factors, including greater economic wealth, social welfare support, and selfism—a selfishness that puts “number one” at the center of our lives. But more disturbing is the fact that many of us feel safer when we are in control. So living alone is an obvious preference. We have learned over the years that other people are unsafe. We may need others, but are more guarded toward them than we would have been in the past, evoking echoes of Sartre’s, “hell is other people.” It is essential that the Church buck this trend if churches are to be authentic faith “communities.” But in an age where being safe increasingly equates to being alone, offering people persuasive reasons for being together and staying together is a much stiffer challenge than it used to be.

Most people will say that a safe place is where they feel safe. For many men safety is their car when they are driving! Or their garage, workshop, greenhouse, garden shed or golf course. For some women this safe place will be their kitchen or (hopefully) their bedroom. For other women being safe is being with a man they love, being with their children and grandchildren or behind locked doors in their one-bed apartment. Is this what safety really means? Do we have to avoid other people and create highly controlled environments in order to feel secure and protected? In the next chapter we will explore God’s idea of what is safe—something contrasting to the norm in our society today.


Questions to Ponder

1. What do you think about Mandela’s statement that the twentieth century has been the most violent so far?

2. In what ways does our contemporary culture impact our congregations?

3. In what ways, if any, is the Church different from the world around it?

4. If there has been a time when you have been abused in the Church, how do you now feel about it?

5. If you know of a newcomer who has come to your church having been hurt, how can you help that person to feel safe?

6. How would you describe a “safe place?”


Notes

1 E. Krug, et al., World Report on Violence and Health (Geneva: World Health Organization, 2002).

2 N. Ferguson, The War of the World (London: Allen Lane, 2006).

3 I (Peter) am currently writing a book with the Archbishop of Rwanda, His Grace Emmanuel Kolini, on the subject of violence and genocide. Hopefully, it will be published early 2008.

4 Foreword—Krug, et al., World Report.

5 S. Tombs and D. Whyte, Unmasking the Crimes of the Powerful: Scrutinizing states and corporations (Oxford: Pater Lang, 2003).

6 K. Dowding, Power (Buckingham: Open University Press, 1996), 1ff.

7 W. Macpherson, et al., The Stephen Lawrence Enquiry (London: The Stationery Office, 1999).

8 R. Finke and R. Stark, “How the Upstart Sects Won America: 1776–1850,” Journal of the Scientific Study of Religion 28 (1989), 1:27–44.

9 D.W. Bebbington, The Dominance of Evangelicalism: The age of Spurgeon and Moody (Nottingham: Inter-Varsity Press, 2006).

10 G. Lynch, After Religion: “Generation X” and the search for meaning (London: Darton, Longman & Todd, 2002).

11 Martin noted in Sickening Mind that “if present trends continue over one third of British homes will be occupied by a solitary person by the year 2106.”

12 A. Milan and A. Peters, “Couples living apart,” Canadian Social Trends (Summer 2003), Office for National Statistics, “First estimates of the number of people ’Living Apart Together’ in Britain” (2005, online). Available from (accessed 10 June 2006.

Plain Perfect: My Review

Plain Perfect by Beth Wiseman

My review

rating: 3 of 5 stars
This is a sweet but very predictable book about a modern American girl who was raised by a single mom of Amish descent who decides, when she realizes her life is a mess, to return to her mom's Amish family. She is seeking peace and wants to accept as much of the Amish lifestyle as she wants, and to reject the rest. Little by little she accepts all of it, and sure enough at the end of the book....

I've always found the Amish to be fascinating and even wrote a paper on them back in high school. This book does a nice job of explaining not only what the Amish do and don't do, but also why. They are very much into the good of the group, and my guess is that there are times that the good of the individual gives way to that--as shown by one of the characters in this book. They don't try to spread their faith (other than to their children) but you have to wonder what would happen if everyone adopted it -- they only send their kids through eighth grade, but they are willing to use "English" doctors. They don't have cars, but they ride in them.

On the other hand, I read in a non-fiction book that they choose the modern conveniences they do (and not the ones they don't) in part to maintain the cohesive community and family relationships. The level of technology allowed means their farms will support their families, but they will not become idle rich landowners. Not having a car means they aren't tempted to commute long distances, or move too far away from family. The low education level again limits them to jobs that require hard work, but within their community, there are jobs that will support them. Since they don't have electricity, there are all sorts of things they don't need, which means they can get by with smaller incomes. It does seem that much of our life is spent seeking more and more stuff and then playing with it rather than seeking God or building the community. I wonder what the happy medium is?





View all my reviews.

Plain Perfect

It is time to play a Wild Card! Every now and then, a book that I have chosen to read is going to pop up as a FIRST Wild Card Tour. Get dealt into the game! (Just click the button!) Wild Card Tours feature an author and his/her book's FIRST chapter!

You never know when I might play a wild card on you!

Today's Wild Card author is:

Beth Wiseman

and the book:

Plain Perfect

Thomas Nelson (September 9, 2008)

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

Writing has always been a part of Beth Wiseman’s life. When she was introduced to the Amish, she gained an appreciation for their simpler way of life and began writing novels featuring this endearing group. Her first novel was Plain Perfect. She and her family live in Texas.

As a newspaper reporter, Beth has been honored by her peers with eleven journalism awards in the past four years - most recently, first place news writing for The Texas Press Association. She has been a humor columnist for The 1960 Sun in Houston and published articles in various publications. However, writing novels is where her heart is. Following completion of five manuscripts, Wiseman's inspirational fiction series set in Pennsylvania Dutch Country is where she found her voice.

"It took me a while," she says. "But I knew right away that Plain Perfect was the one. Writing about the Amish lifestyle within a fictional love story has been a wonderful experience. The Amish and Mennonite contacts I have established in Lancaster County help me to keep the books authentic. These very private people might dress differently, avoid the use of electricity and modern conveniences, but they are just like everyone else. They love, hurt, have daily challenges and struggles, and strive to be the best they can be. An often misunderstood sect of people, it has been a privilege to learn about their ways."

Visit the author's website.

Product Details:

List Price: $ 14.99
Paperback: 352 pages
Publisher: Thomas Nelson (September 9, 2008)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 1595546308
ISBN-13: 978-1595546302

AND NOW...THE FIRST CHAPTER:

LILLIAN PEELED BACK THE DRAPES AT THE FRONT WINDOW and squinted against the sun’s glare. She’d called the taxi almost an hour ago. If her ride didn’t show up soon, she would have to forego her plan and spend another night with Rickie. Biting her lip, she worried if she would have enough cash to change her flight if she didn’t make it to the airport on time.

She lowered the drape and paced the living room in Rickie’s house, silently blasting herself for ever moving in with him in the first place. Her stomach writhed at the thought of one more day under the same roof with him. And yet her window of time for her departure was closing, she realized, glancing at her watch.

She tugged at the drapes again. Relief fell over her when she saw the yellow cab pull into the driveway. Snatching her red suitcase and purse, she bolted for the door, shuffling toward the driver as he opened the trunk.

“Please hurry,” she said to the driver, handing him her suitcase.

The driver stowed her luggage without comment and was climbing into the driver’s seat when she saw Rickie’s black Lexus rounding the corner and heading up the street. Her heart sank.

“Where to?” the driver asked.

“Intercontinental Airport,” she answered. “Hurry, please.”

As the driver made his way down Harper Avenue, Lillian watched out the rearview window. Rickie’s car slowly neared the house.

The cab driver turned at the corner. She’d made it. A clean getaway.

Irma Rose Miller couldn’t help but notice the bounce in her husband’s steps. The cancer kept him down and out on most days, but not today. Today Lilly was coming, and his anticipation and joy were evident.

“Danki,” Jonas said as Irma Rose poured him another cup of coffee.

“You’re welcome.”

Her tall husband, once muscular and strong as an ox, sat hunched over the wooden table between them. His healthy load of gray locks and full beard were now thinning and brittle. Dark circles under his eyes and sunken features revealed the many sleepless nights of pain he had endured over the past few months. God had given her husband of forty-eight years a challenging road to travel, and he was making the trip with dignity and grace.

“Our Lilly will be here this afternoon.” Jonas smiled and raised the cup to his mouth. His hands trembled, but his eyes twinkled with a merriment Irma Rose hadn’t seen since the first mention of their granddaughter coming to stay with them. She hoped he wouldn’t be disappointed. They hadn’t seen the girl in seventeen years, since she was ten years old.

Irma Rose stood to retrieve some donuts from a pan atop the wooden stove.

“It will be wunderbaar gut to have her here.”

Irma Rose placed two donuts on her husband’s plate. “Ya, that it will. But, Jonas, you must keep in mind how different our ways are. We will seem like foreigners to our Englisch granddaughter.”

“These donuts are appeditlich,” Jonas said.

“Danki. But, Jonas, you need to prepare yourself. Sarah Jane raised Lilly in the outside world. We don’t know her. As a matter of fact, we don’t know exactly how Sarah Jane raised her.”

The thought twisted Irma Rose’s stomach in familiar knots. It had been hard enough when her daughter chose to leave the Old Order Amish community at the age of eighteen, but even more difficult when she wrote to tell them she was in a family way soon thereafter . . . with no husband.

“She was a glorious child,” Jonas said. “Remember how quickly she learned to ice skate? What a joy she was. What a gut Christmas holiday we all had.”

Irma Rose shook her head at her husband’s ignorance of the obvious. Lilly wasn’t a child any more. She was a grown woman. Jonas had talked about that last Christmas together until the next season came and went. When Sarah Jane and Lilly didn’t show up the following year, he merely shrugged and said, “Maybe they will visit next year.” And each Christmas thereafter Jonas anticipated a visit that never happened.

Jonas never uttered a negative word about Sarah Jane’s choices. But she’d seen the sadness in his eyes when their daughter left home, and she knew the pain dwelled in his heart over the years. But he only said it was impossible to always understand God’s direction for His children—their child. Their only child. The good Lord had only seen fit to bless them with one. A beautiful daughter who had chosen a life rife with hardship.

Irma Rose had prayed hard over the years to cleanse herself of any discontentment with her daughter. Sarah Jane’s choice to leave the Amish faith was prior to her baptism and church membership. Therefore her daughter was never shunned by the community. She had chosen to avoid visits with her parents. From the little Irma Rose gathered over the years, Sarah Jane and Lilly had lived with friends and moved around a lot.

An occasional letter arrived from her daughter, to which Irma Rose always responded right away. More times than not, the letters were returned unopened. It was less painful to assume Sarah Jane had moved on and the letters were returned by the postal service. Although sometimes it cut Irma Rose to the bone when she recognized her daughter’s penmanship: Return to sender.

She was thankful her last letter to Sarah Jane had not been returned. She couldn’t help but wonder if the news about Jonas’s cancer had prompted her granddaughter’s visit. When Lillian’s letter arrived over a month ago, Irma Rose had followed her instructions not to return a letter but to call her on the telephone if at all possible. She wasted no time going to the nearby shanty to phone her granddaughter. The conversation was strained and the child seemed frantic to come for a visit.

“I’m a teacher and when school is out in May, I’d like to come for a visit,” her granddaughter had said on the phone. “Maybe stay for the summer. Or maybe even longer?” There was a sense of urgency in the girl’s tone.

Irma Rose feared her faith had not been as strong as her husband’s and that a tinge of resentment and hurt still loitered in her heart where Sarah Jane was concerned. She didn’t want any of those feelings to spill over with her granddaughter. She would need to pray harder.

As if reading her mind, Jonas said, “Irma Rose, everything will be fine. You just wait and see.”

It wasn’t until the plane was high above the Houston skyline that the realization of what she’d done hit Lillian. After landing in Philadelphia, she caught a train to Lancaster City and hopped a bus to Paradise, which landed her only a few miles from her grandparents’ farm. She was glad there was a bit of a walk to their property; she wanted to wind down and freshen up before she reacquainted herself with her relatives. Plus, she’d had enough time on the plane to wonder if this whole thing was a huge mistake. Her mom hadn’t wanted to be here, so why think it would be any better for her?

Not that she had much choice at this point. She had no money, no home, no job, and she was more than a little irritated with her mother. When her mom had begged Lillian to loan her the money she’d painstakingly saved to get away from Rickie and start fresh, Lillian reluctantly agreed, with the stipulation she got her money back as soon as possible. But her mom had never repaid a loan before. Lillian didn’t know why she thought it would be any different this time. When the promised repayment never came, Lillian quit her job and made a decision to distance herself from her mother and Rickie by coming to a place where she knew neither of them would follow: Lancaster County.

Lillian shook her head, wondering if she was making a bigger mistake by coming here. She didn’t know if she’d ever understand what ultimately drove her mother from the Plain lifestyle. From what she read, it rarely happened—Amish children fleeing from all they’d ever known. The circumstances must have been severe to drive her mother away.

Although . . . it didn’t look so bad from Lillian’s point of view, now that she was there. Aside from having a dreadful wardrobe, she thought the Amish men and women strolling by looked quite content. They seemed oblivious to the touristy stares. The women wore simple, dark-colored dresses with little white coverings on their heads. The men were in cotton shirts, dark pants with suspenders, and straw hats with a wide brim. Box-shaped, horse-drawn buggies were abundant.

Ironically, it all seemed quite normal.

She took a seat on a bench outside the Quik Mart at the corner of Lincoln Highway and Black Horse Road and watched the passersby. Clearly, Paradise was a tourist town, like most of Lancaster County, with everyone wanting to have a look at the Amish people.

Watching them now, she wondered if the Amish were all as peaceful as they appeared. Despite her initial thoughts, she decided they couldn’t be. Everyone had stress. Everyone had problems. Surely the Plain People of Lancaster County were not an exception.

But they could have fooled Lillian.

Samuel Stoltzfus gave hasty good-byes to Levina Esh and Sadie Fisher and flicked his horse into action, hiding a smile as his buggy inched forward. The competitiveness of those two widow women! First Levina had presented him with her prize-winning shoofly pie. Not to be outdone, Sadie quickly offered up her own prize-winning version. Stalemate. The two of them had stood there glaring at each other while he tried to think of ways to escape unhurt . . . and unattached.

He might have to rethink his shopping day. Both women knew he went to the farmer’s market on Thursdays . . . Once he cleared town, he picked up the pace. The road to his farm near the town of Paradise was less traveled, and he was particularly glad of that on this day. It was a glorious sunny afternoon, perfect for a buggy ride through the countryside.

Pleased he had chosen his spring buggy instead of his covered one, he relished the warmth of the late afternoon sun. Rachel had loved this time of year, when spring gave way to summertime and all the world felt full of promise.

God’s soil was tilled, and corn, alfalfa, and grain had been planted. Life would be busy as he awaited the bountiful rewards of spring’s labor. There was the garden, with peas to pick. The strawberries would be ready. Lots of canning and freezing. Much time went into preparing a garden for harvest.

And Rachel’s garden had always been lush and plentiful. Gardening was work for the womenfolk, but Samuel had done the best he could the past two years. He was thankful his sisters took care of most of the canning and freezing.

He closed his eyes, his shoulders lifting with his sigh. He missed Rachel the most this time of year.

Lillian felt like a fool. Didn’t “down yonder a spell” mean right down the road? The friendly Amish boy had pointed down Black Horse Road and uttered those exact words when she’d asked for directions to her grandparents’ farm. She’d thought the walk would do her good—help her shed some of the calories she ingested while sitting at the Quik Mart with a large cinnamon roll and cola.

Evidently, she’d mistranslated “down yonder a spell.” There wasn’t a farmhouse in sight.

She really should have considered the strappy sandals she was wearing before opting to venture down the road to nowhere. Her capri blue jeans and short-sleeved pink-cotton shirt were good choices, however. The clement sun mixing with a soft breeze made for a perfect day. An excellent day for a walk . . . if only she’d had better shoes.

Setting her red suitcase on the grassy shoulder of the paved road, she plopped down on top of it and scanned the farmland surrounding her. It was so quiet. Peaceful. She could only hope that some of the peacefulness the Amish were known for would rub off on her during her stay. She needed it. Life had not been easy to her the past few years.

Her mom’s idea of parenting had left much to be desired— jumping from one man to the next looking for something she never seemed to find. All the while she’d toted Lillian along. Lillian had grown up changing schools, saying good-bye to friends, and continually hoping Mom’s next boyfriend would be better than the last. At the first chance, Lillian had bailed on the situation, telling herself she could do better.

Despite her good intentions, she’d ended up close to following in her mother’s footsteps. After putting herself through college while living with three other girls in a small apartment, she’d landed a teaching job. There had been boyfriends, and she’d definitely made her own share of mistakes.

But always, something had whispered to her that there was another way to live. Sometimes she’d listened, sometimes not. But she never felt comfortable enough to ask herself just where that voice was coming from—she just didn’t know enough to form an opinion. She didn’t listen to the voice when it cautioned her not to move in with Rickie. But when the voice became too strong to ignore, she knew it was time to get out of that situation.

Despite the complete lack of religious upbringing, she always suspected there might be a God looking down on her. But in light of her mom’s thoughts on church, she couldn’t ask her about it. Her mother seemed angry at religion. While she heartily encouraged Lillian to attend various churches with her friends when she was a child, she herself would have no part of it. It was a huge contradiction in parenting, and Lillian didn’t understand it to this day.

Now, knowing the Amish to be solid in their faith, Lillian decided it might be best to keep her suspicions about a possible God to herself around her grandparents.

“Guess I better get moving and find out how far ‘down yonder a spell’ really is.” She jumped off the suitcase, gave it a heave-hoe, and started back down the paved road, gazing to either side where the acreage stretched as far she could see. The sun pressing down on the horizon left her a tad worried about how much further the farm was.

“Whoa, boy!” Samuel yelled to his horse. The animal slowed his pace to a gentle trot, bringing the buggy alongside an Englisch woman cumbersomely toting a bright-red suitcase. She was minus a shoe . . . if you called a flat-bottom sole with two small straps a shoe. Certainly not a good walking instrument.

“Can I offer you a ride?” He pulled back on the reins and came to a complete halt, as did the small-framed woman. When she turned, he was met by radiant green eyes in a delicate face.

Delicate, that is, until she grimaced and blew a tendril of hair out of her face.

Then she smiled, and her face transformed, lighting up like the morning sun. He was momentarily struck dumb.

It didn’t matter. The woman was focused on his horse. Deserting her suitcase on the side of the road, she stumbled over to Pete and reached out to stroke his nose without so much as a “May I?”

Thankfully, Pete was a gentle giant.

“He’s beautiful,” she said, glancing briefly in Samuel’s direction, eyes sparkling.

He cleared his throat. “Ya. And a fine work horse too.”

What an interesting woman this was. Unafraid. And beautiful, he had to admit. He watched as her long brown hair danced in the wind, framing her face in layers. She wore no makeup and seemed lacking in the traditional Englisch look, although her brightly colored blouse and calf-length breeches certainly gave her away. A tourist, most likely. But a tourist walking alone down Blackhorse Road?

The woman’s mouth curved upward in delight as she cooed over Pete. The horse gently snorted, nudged her, and she laughed heartily, her head thrown back. It was a thoroughly enchanting scene.

Suddenly uncomfortable at his thoughts, he straightened and coughed. It was enough to bring the woman’s attention back to him.

“I would love a ride!” With a final kiss on the old horse’s muzzle, she went back for her suitcase. “Where should I put this?”

“Ach, my manners.” Samuel jumped out of the buggy and made his way to the woman. “Let me.” He took the suitcase from her, quite surprised at how heavy the small bundle was. After stowing it behind the double seat, he offered his hand to assist her into the buggy.

“Thank you.” Now she was studying him . . . seemingly from head to toe. At her open glance, he felt a flush tint his cheeks.

“I’m Samuel Stoltzfus,” he said, extending his hand but avoiding her questioning eyes.

“I’m Lillian Miller.”

Her hands were certainly that of an Englisch woman, soft and void of a hard day’s work. The Plain women in Lancaster County tilled gardens, shelled peas, kneaded bread, and a host of other necessary chores uncommon to Englisch women from the city. City women’s hands were not only smooth and manicured, but pleasing to the touch.

Returning to his seat, he started up the buggy again. The woman was obviously tired and happy to be resting; with a slight groan she stretched her legs out. He found his eyes wandering her way and silently remonstrated himself.

“Where are you from, Lillian? Or, more important, where are you going?”

“I’m from Houston.”

“Ya, Texas,” he said, slightly surprised. They didn’t usually get Texans walking the roads out here. “Lots of farms in Texas. What brings you to Lancaster County, Pennsylvania?”

“I’m coming to stay with my grandparents for a while.” She smiled. “They’re Amish.”

Amish? He was once more at a loss for words. Not to worry— the Englisch woman wasn’t.

“Actually, I guess I’m Amish too,” she added.

Discreetly glancing at her Englisch clothes, he wondered how that could be so.

“My grandparents are Irma Rose and Jonas Miller. I’ll be staying with them for a while.” She looked his way as if waiting for a response that never came. “I’d like to adapt myself to the Amish ways. I need a peaceful, calm lifestyle away from the city. Anyway, I’ve decided to be Amish for a while.”

Samuel had been trying to connect this vivacious outsider with the staunch Irma Rose and Jonas he knew, but these words jostled him out of his musings. “You’d like to be Amish for a while?”

“Yes. Although I don’t plan to wear one of those dark-colored dresses or white caps like the women I saw strolling by earlier.”

In spite of himself, Samuel chuckled. “Do you even know what being Amish means?” He didn’t mean the remark as harshly as it sounded.

Lillian slanted her eyes in his direction, as if slightly offended.

Unexpectedly, the buggy wheel hit a rut. With an oomph, his new friend bounced in her seat. She was a tiny little thing. Luckily, she didn’t catapult right off the seat and onto the pavement.

“Yikes!” she said when her behind returned to the seat. And then she giggled. As Pete’s ears swiveled back to catch the commotion, Samuel couldn’t help but grin. The woman’s enthusiasm was contagious.

He decided to drop the subject. He knew Irma Rose and Jonas well enough to figure they’d set her right about being Amish and what it really meant. Samuel reckoned they’d have their hands full with their granddaughter.

As Samuel righted the buggy, he asked, “When is the last time you saw your grandparents?” He hadn’t even known Irma Rose and Jonas had a granddaughter.

“When I was ten. Seventeen years ago. It was the first time I saw snow. Real snow.” Her eyes twinkled from the memory.

“Anyway, I know things will be different from what I’m used to. But I can live without television. There’s too much bad news on TV anyway. And I know Amish women cook a lot. I’m a great cook.” She shrugged. “I’m a hard worker in general. I know Amish get up early and go to bed early. I know they work hard during the day. And if that’s what it takes to feel peaceful and calm . . . I’m in!”

Samuel found her enthusiasm charming, no matter how misdirected it was. “Lillian, I’m sure Irma Rose and Jonas will appreciate you helping with household duties, but it will take more than chores and giving up worldly things to provide you with the peacefulness you’re lookin’ for.”

“Well, it’s a start,” she said, sounding optimistic.

As for that . . . who was he to argue?

Lillian remembered the Christmas visit with her grandparents at their farm, especially the snow. Unlike the icy mix of sludge found rarely in her hometown state, snow in Lancaster County glistened with a tranquil purity. Almost two decades later, she could still recall the towering cedar trees blanketed in white and ice skating on the crystalline pond in her mother’s old ice skates.

The presents had been few. She remembered that. And while she recollected her grandparents as warm and loving, she also remembered the tension between them and her mother. Her grandfather had kept the mood festive, suggested the ice-skating, and seemed to make it his mission for Lillian to have a good time—even carting her to town and back in his gray, horsedrawn buggy. It had been the highlight of her trip.

“I remember liking the way my grandparents talked,” she recalled to Samuel. “I didn’t understand a lot of things they said. Things like ‘Outen the lights until sunrise when we’ll redd-up the house.’ And ‘It wonders me if it will make wet tomorrow.’ Mom translated those to mean ‘Turn out the lights until in the morning when we’ll clean up the house’ and ‘I wonder if it will rain tomorrow.’”

“That would be right,” Samuel said.

Grandma and Grandpa both spoke another language she’d later found out was Pennsylvania Deitsch. Lots of times they would commingle their language with English. “Danki, Sarah Jane, for bringing our little kinskind for a visit,” her grandfather told her mother that Christmas. To which Sarah Jane Miller forced a smile and nodded.

“Grandma, why are you and Grandpa wearing those costumes?”

Lillian recalled asking her grandparents.

Grandpa had just laughed and said, “It is our faith, my kinskind. We wear these plain clothes to encourage humility and separation from the world.”

At ten, Lillian had little understanding of what that signified. Except somewhere in the translation she knew it meant they couldn’t have a television or a phone. Several times after their one and only trip, Lillian had asked her mother if she could call her grandparents. Mom reminded her no phones were allowed at Grandma and Grandpa’s house.

“Evidently, my grandparents came to Houston a couple of times before our visit at Christmas, but I don’t remember,” she told Samuel. “That Christmas was my last trip to Lancaster County and the last time I saw my grandparents. Until now.”

“I reckon Irma Rose and Jonas are really looking forward to seeing you.”

“I hope so.”

Lillian tried to keep her gaze focused on the road in front of her. But her eyes kept involuntarily trailing to her left. Samuel Stoltzfus was as handsome a man as she had ever seen in the city. His plain clothes did little to mask his solid build and appealing smile each time she glanced in his direction. But it was his piercing blue eyes Lillian couldn’t seem to draw away from.

“So, how long have you been married?” Nosey, nosey. The astonished look on his face confirmed her worry. She was crossing the line. “I’m sorry. I just noticed that you have the customary beard following marriage.” She’d done her research before arriving here. “And . . . I was just . . . curious.” And curious why? He’s Amish, for heaven’s sake.

“I’m not married. I’m widowed.”

“Oh,” she said softly, thinking how young his wife must have been when she died. “ I’m so sorry. When did your wife die?”

“Mei fraa, Rachel, passed almost two years ago,” he answered without looking her way.

“Again, I’m so sorry.”

Samuel continued to stare at the road ahead. “It was God’s will.”

There was no sadness or regret in his tone. Just fact. Lillian knew she should leave it alone, but . . . “I’m sure you miss her very much.”

He didn’t glance her way. “There’s Irma Rose and Jonas’s farm,” he said, pointing to their right. “I better take you right up to the house.” He coaxed Pete down a long dirt drive leading from the road to the white farmhouse.

“Oh, you don’t have to do that. I can walk.” She wondered if Samuel Stoltzfus was ready to be rid of her. His eyebrows edged upward beneath his dark bangs and he glanced at her shoeless foot.

Point taken. “A ride to the house would be great.”

As Pete trotted down the dirt driveway toward the farmhouse, reality sank in. This would be her new home for the summer—or however long it took to accomplish her goal. At first glance, everything seemed lovely. The prodigious fields on either side of the lane were neatly mowed, and the white fencing in good repair. But unlike the farms she passed on the way, there were no signs of new life planted. It wasn’t until they drew closer to the farmhouse that she spotted a small garden off to her left enclosed by a wire-mesh fence. Parallel rows of greenery indicated vegetables would be forthcoming.


Also off to her left was a large barn, the paint weathered and chipping. Another smaller barn to her right also was in need of a fresh paint job. She recalled the barns they had passed on her journey down Black Horse Road. Most were a bright crimson color.

The white farmhouse appeared freshly painted, but with flowerbeds absent of flowers or shrubs. They must have been beautiful at one time. But now they—and the rest of the yard—lent an air of neglect to the farm.

A wraparound porch with two rockers looked inviting. But while the idea of curling up with a good book in one of the rockers was appealing, Lillian knew it was the inside of the house and its inhabitants she feared most. Her grandma had seemed pleasant enough on the phone, but what if she and her grandfather were too set in their ways to make room for her? And what if she couldn’t adjust to their ways? No electricity meant no hairdryer, curling iron, or other modern convenience she considered a necessity. How would she charge her cell phone? And she couldn’t imagine a summer without air conditioning.

Grimacing as the thoughts rattled around her head, she reminded herself why she’d come. She’d had a month to consider all of these factors. She thought she had. But as her fantasy of leaving everything behind for this became absolute, her tummy twirled with uncertainty.

She was still attempting to envision her new way of life when Samuel brought Pete up next to a gray buggy parked on one side of the house. Samuel moved quickly to get her suitcase from behind the seat and extended his hand to help her out of the buggy. Towering over her, he promptly released her fingers.

“Thank you for the ride. Maybe I will see you again.” She could only hope. But his lack of response as he quickly jumped back in the carriage left her wondering.

Lillian waved good-bye and watched until horse, buggy, and man were back on the paved road. She knew she was stalling. Her grandparents would be strangers to her, and she would be a stranger to them. Yet they had encouraged her to come and stay with them. “For as long as you like,” her grandmother had said.

Striving to cast her worries aside, she turned around, picked up her suitcase, and headed up the walk toward what would be her new home . . . for a while.

A Murder Mystery

Blessed Is The Busybody by Emilie Richards

My review

rating: 3 of 5 stars
I don't usually read murder mysteries, but I've been working my way through Emilie Richards' books and this one came up on bookmooch so I grabbed it. The main character is the wife of the pastor of a Unitarian church in a small Ohio town. One day a naked dead woman is dumped on her doorstep. The pastor is the last one to have spoken to her while she was alive. Little by little his wife is drawn into solving the mystery of who killed this woman and why, and in the end, she learns. As I said earlier, I don't usually read murder mysteries, so I don't have a lot to compare it with, but my guess is that this is on the lighter side of the genre. There are others in a series by the same author but I think I'll pass. However, if you want to read a murder mystery that does not contain profanity or excessive violence, you may like it.


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