My daughter came home with a D in band on her last report card. That's a real problem because two nine weeks in a row with a grade below a C can get her kicked out of her wonderful school (it is a magnet school for high-performing students). I decided to supervise the next practice session to see if I could come up with any ideas on how to improve the grade. We went into her room. She got out the saxophone and assembled it. She got out her music. She arranged everything just so. She started to play a song and squawked the second note. She groaned. She looked at her saxophone. She adjusted this and that. Then she started over. Then she clunked another note. She groaned, she looked, she adjusted...in short, in a ten minute session she had played four notes, two of which this tone deaf mom could tell weren't right. I told her "just play the song, over and over and over again, no matter how bad it sounds. If it still sounds bad Monday, at least you'll have the fingering down, and you can ask Ms. G what you are doing wrong." By Monday the song sounded much better, and she has gotten Bs on her last two quizzes.
I say all that because there have been two parts of my life that I know need improving--my weight and my prayer life. This year I have been making a major effort on my weight, and it has paid off, but the last couple of weeks the weight loss has been minimal. I knew Easter week's weigh-in wouldn't be that great, after all, I ate lots of jelly beans and chocolate. This week I expected more, though when I think about it, I haven't been tracking closely, and my sweet tooth has been acting up. I was taking a walk this afternoon, and thinking and praying as I walked, and I kept thinking about my daughter and her sax. Just play the song--just do what you need to do, over and over, even if you don't do it well, and eventually that work will pay off.
As for my prayer life, well, I committed to adoration for an hour a week back in October, and so far I've managed to keep that commitment, and it has been good for me. But, like my weight, there is still a long way to go. I can look at websites, read books, and otherwise fiddle around with prayer, but the fact of the matter is, I need to just do it. Funny the things kids teach us.
Saturday, April 21, 2007
Friday, April 20, 2007
Are Things Different Now?
I was talking to someone at the office today. He is a deputy Marshall in a parish (county) near here, which gives him a badge, flashing blue lights for his car, the right to carry a concealed weapon and a way to make business contacts. Immediately after Katrina, it gave him the ability to get into the city to help friends check on their property (if it wasn't under water). He was telling stories of those days and some how the discussion turned to the guy at VTU. My friend asked "What is it about today's world that makes people do stuff like this?" He wondered if the world was too crowded, if people were too stressed....
I asked if things were all that different than they once were, or if we just hear about it more, with 24/7 news, satellites, the internet etc. A guy about 40 miles from here went on a rampage the other night and killed his estranged wife and son. It was all over the TV. Forty years ago, would it have made the New Orleans papers? We see daily footage of the carnage in Bagdad. Fifty years ago, would we have cared? Genocide (or attempted genocide) is nothing new. Maybe what is new is everyone hearing about everthing.
On the other hand, maybe things are different. I wonder if part of what we have lost over the last fifty years is a sense of connection. When I started elementary school in a Catholic school in my mother's hometown in the late 1960's I was one of forty kids in my grade. I know I had a family connection to three of them. I wouldn't be surprised if there were more second or third cousins in that room whose last names weren't W... so I didn't know they were kin. My parents always told us if we got lost in that town, we should tell someone "My grandpa is T.W. Sr." My brother had to opportunity to put that into practice, and the high school girl he told was my aunt's (uncle's wife) sister, and she knew how to find TW Sr. In short, I was connected to people in that town. When we'd visit in the summer there were a long list of people my mom wanted to see, and who wanted to see her. I'm sure if someone in that town saw her acting "off" they'd tell her family, who would try to help her.
With my kids however, things are totally different. Family means those who live at this house, along with a few others we see a few (if that) times a year. As they grow older, they change schools, and groups of friends. Another house on the street is up for sale. We've been here eleven years and of the ten houses on this end of the block, only four have been here longer than us. I wonder if the reason we as a people feel so free to cause harm to others is because we don't feel any deep connection to them. The people who make headlines for harming others are so often weird loners, but how about the rest of us. Is our lack of connectedness contributing to increasing violence?
I asked if things were all that different than they once were, or if we just hear about it more, with 24/7 news, satellites, the internet etc. A guy about 40 miles from here went on a rampage the other night and killed his estranged wife and son. It was all over the TV. Forty years ago, would it have made the New Orleans papers? We see daily footage of the carnage in Bagdad. Fifty years ago, would we have cared? Genocide (or attempted genocide) is nothing new. Maybe what is new is everyone hearing about everthing.
On the other hand, maybe things are different. I wonder if part of what we have lost over the last fifty years is a sense of connection. When I started elementary school in a Catholic school in my mother's hometown in the late 1960's I was one of forty kids in my grade. I know I had a family connection to three of them. I wouldn't be surprised if there were more second or third cousins in that room whose last names weren't W... so I didn't know they were kin. My parents always told us if we got lost in that town, we should tell someone "My grandpa is T.W. Sr." My brother had to opportunity to put that into practice, and the high school girl he told was my aunt's (uncle's wife) sister, and she knew how to find TW Sr. In short, I was connected to people in that town. When we'd visit in the summer there were a long list of people my mom wanted to see, and who wanted to see her. I'm sure if someone in that town saw her acting "off" they'd tell her family, who would try to help her.
With my kids however, things are totally different. Family means those who live at this house, along with a few others we see a few (if that) times a year. As they grow older, they change schools, and groups of friends. Another house on the street is up for sale. We've been here eleven years and of the ten houses on this end of the block, only four have been here longer than us. I wonder if the reason we as a people feel so free to cause harm to others is because we don't feel any deep connection to them. The people who make headlines for harming others are so often weird loners, but how about the rest of us. Is our lack of connectedness contributing to increasing violence?
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
Like Books?
Most of us who like to read end up with shelves full of books that we really don't plan to read again. Eventually they get gathered up and sent to a charity book sale. Melanie mentioned getting books from Book Mooch so I checked it out. Basically you enter books you want to give away, and for doing so, you earn points, which can be used to purchase books from other people. Those who mail out get points, those who receive them give up points, and the whole system works without money changing hands.
Teenagers
As the mom of a teen and a tween, I found Dominco Bettinelli's post about adolescence interesting. Basically he was reviewing a book, the thesis of which is that today we infantilize teens, keeping them as children rather than making them young adults. One fun part of his post was a link to a quiz asking you how much of an adult you are. I scored 100% adult so I guess I've grown up (must be why the youngsters at the office call me Ms. Ruth). I'm sure this quiz has the validitity of most internet quizzes, but how adult are you?
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