Women's Week: How Do You Define Success?

One thing that struck me in reading The Cougar Club is that it was about three women who many would consider to be successful, yet none of them seemed happy.  If you consider the mass media to be a reflection of society, in order to be happy we should be young, wealthy, successful, influential, pretty, in good shape, and did I mention young?  Yet, I can honestly say that though I enjoyed my 20's at the time, if given the chance to live a decade of my life again, it would either be my thirties or forties (I haven't hit my fifties yet, so who knows what is ahead?).  By that time I was comfortable in my skin, I knew who I was and what I wanted out of life, and while some would say I didn't set my goals high enough, I had accepted my spot in the pecking order of life so that I no longer felt I had to go out of my way to impress people.  I've enjoyed being Mom to my kids, we aren't worried about how we are going to pay the bills, and my husband and I love each other and are content together.  While I may not wear Prada, drive a Jaguar or take luxury spa vacations, while my latest squeeze has grey hair and is carrying a few extra pounds (and happens to be the only squeeze I've had in over twenty years), while if you see me on TV with my boss, I'm the fuzzy one in the back, hauling the boxes; I consider myself successful because I have everything material that I need, a lot that I want, and most importantly, a family who loves me.  

So ladies and gents, especially those of you of a certain age, how do you define success?  Do you consider  yourself successful?  Leave a substantive answer to those questions, or a substantive comment about what I've had to say, and earn entries to win The Cougar Club: A Novel.  

TLC Book Tour: The Cougar Club

The Cougar Club: A Novel

I hated the characters in this book, but in general the book was ok.  It was well-written, the characters were well developed, the storyline developed and resolved nicely but I didn't like the characters.  Who were they?  They are three women in their forties who were high school chums.  The story opens with Kat being fired from her job with a New York advertising agency.  When she gets home and tells her significant other, she realizes how he just doesn't get it, and never will, and realizes that she has been miserable for years.  She decides to head home to St. Louis to re-evaluate her life.  She re-kindles her friendship with Carla, who is the city's favorite news anchor--and who is feeling threatened by the cute young thing at the station, who just happens to be sleeping with the boss, who just happens to Carla's ex---oh, and the way Carla got her break was by sleeping with that same boss.  The third friend is Elise.  Elise married her high school sweetheart, who became a successful plastic surgeon.  Elise is a dermatologist and they have one son who is a freshman in college.  Elise has noticed that her husband has been growing more distant.  Is her life going to change soon, for the worse?

I like romance novels, but it has sort of hit me lately that I'm spending a lot of time reading about women who are half my age, or younger.  I was hoping this book about women who are closer to my age would be a winner for me but it wasn't.  Why?  Because it is about women who are miserable, and it seems much of their misery is of their own making. On the other hand, I'd like to put this book in the hands of young women who, in my opinion, are throwing their lives away--allowing jobs to consume their lives, hooking up with men who are not willing to commit, and spending way too much time and money worrying about appearance. Now, I'm not advocating making finding a husband your main goal in life, however I do wonder how many forty-something single women have wished they had spent more time looking for a husband rather than for recreational sex.  I'm not against women having careers, but I wonder how many forty-something women with fancy careers an no babies wish they had babies?  I'm not against looking nice, but why in the world should I think I should look like I'm 20?  Frankly, I wish I had the guts to quit coloring my hair and become the only gray-haired woman in my office, but I don't--but as far as botox shots, boob jobs, tummy tucks and the like, why in the world should I go to that much trouble to avoid looking like I'm over 40?  I'm a 40 something woman who is actually happy with my life.  I have a wonderful husband who is never going to get rich, or be asked to be on the cover of GQ, but he is kind, loyal, reliable, a good father, and I doubt he'll leave me if I put on a few pounds or wrinkles.  I don't have a fancy job, but the bills here get paid, and I don't have a problem maintaining a life outside of work.  I know I need to lose some weight, and I'm going to, soon, but my sense of self-worth isn't really all that tied up in my weight.  I guess a book about someone like me would be boring, but I'll take my boring life over the lives of these Donna Karan-wearing, Chanel-carrying, Jaguar-driving boy-toy dating "Cougars".

Giveaway: The Cougar Club

The Cougar Club: A Novel

Thanks to the author, Susan McBride, I have one autographed copy of The Cougar Club to give away.  Here are the rules:
1.  Leave me a comment with your name and email address.
2.  For another entry, blog, tweet, facebook whatever, about this giveaway
3.  For additional entries, leave substantive comments on my "Women's Week" posts this week.  I reserve the right to decide whether your comments are substantive or not, but "I agree" won't get it.
4.  Winner will be selected February 21.